The Benefits of Perfume

Problem: He has a girlfriend.
Solution: I should be getting rid of him and his thoughts, right?

Problem: I can't seem to STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM, GODDAMMIT.
Solution: God help me, I know of none.

This is all very strange to me, but I comfort myself with my knowledge that one cannot control their emotions. It is almost like my mantra, I tell it to myself with undeniable guilt as I end up daydreaming that he might talk to me.
I can see it now, the headline, Once-Free Girl Trapped Because Of Older Man. Absolutely inescapable. Inexorable spirit, leave me once, leave me again, leave me for ever! Seize your powers over me, give them to someone else, for if you have no use of me, then make it final! Do not leave me guessing, this suffering is horrendous.
I know you will never know or read any of this. I know it, I know it, but I don't want to understand. One day if you could just put me out of my misery and show me how bad you are for me, I would be so happy.
Until that day comes, I will have my perfume to distract me, as well as the star above my bed, and I will have the moon and the real stars. Someday I will go out into the night and I will meet with you. I promise.