I never forget about you, Julian.

Well, another year is officially over. This was one of the special ones, no doubt about it. I think of all my years of school, I cried at school the greatest number of times this year. It was also one of the years I could bear the easiest, of course with help from numerous people who helped make everything better. I've sustained physical and emotional wounds, mostly healed except for the one from making guacamole. My thumbnail is growing back freakishly.
Exams weren't the easiest, not that many people care, but this is my version of the constant Facebook updates and real-life chatter about exam grievances, hope it's easier to swallow. I wouldn't put it on my cereal, but I can take it. (Are you reading this? Eek!)
Virgin Fest post will happen, I promise, the thing is that Virgin Fest itself hasn't happened yet!
It's the time to walk with lilacs brushing past in all their pretty shades, white ones looking like shredded coconuts, violet ones, blue ones, lavender, lavender with white trim, how many colours can there be? I want to see them all. I love walking past all the greenery, touching it, seeing it. Maybe it's just summer in general. Does anyone else feel this way? This euphoria that's almost unstoppable.
Maybe all that stuff that few people take seriously should really be taken seriously be more. I'm part of the minority, though, I need no convincing. I'm a fire sign, I get such an energy boost from just being in bright fiery sunlight. No pale weak winter sunshine for me, no sirree. I'd rather just not have any if it's not passionate. This can be applied to pretty much every other aspect of my life. Maybe this is the way it is for every sign, are they true to their signs in such ways? Is everyone so powerfully influenced, or is it a select group?
Julian, Julian, Julian! It's silly how much I like that name. I want to name my son that, if I ever have a son. Listening to you sing for a year and a half now. Just when you've snuck into a quieter corner of my mind, where the constant music is more distant, I find your music again. Helps me through tough stuff. I never forget about you, Julian. I don't even know why I'm babbling for so bloody long, forgive me, few readers if any. I think it's out of nervousness.
Forever,
N

Lilacs are lovely

I'm terribly sorry to all those readers for being unable to write so long, I'm setting myself up for blogging failure. As well, I forgot about May 18. This otherwise unimportant date was when I began this blog a year ago. I was worried that it wouldn't last for more than a few weeks, but I guess it's still breathing. Life is full of surprises, and I'm coming to accept all kinds of surprises. There have been some particularly nice surprises as of late. I hope that one surprise in particular will last through the entire summer if not longer, I'd really be heartbroken if it doesn't. All I need is some understanding and compassion from a certain parent's side. My little surprise has been helping me so much, I've been getting better grades and feeling happier overall. I'd be in such a hole if not for it.
Summer's here, it's beautiful. Exams are almost over, I'm not really stressing too much because I'm not like that. I'm prepared. For the first little while, when everything finally turned green and the buds were breaking open into the sunlight, my eyes almost always felt like crying out of joy. It was like a gift, every glance at nature, and it still feels like that. I've noticed that nearly everyone is happier when this time of year rolls around.. Thinking it's the weather. My question now is: what about places with excellent weather pretty much year-round? Are these people constantly in a happier state of mind? I wouldn't doubt it. Imagine, though.
I keep on forgetting to write about this earlier, finally I can sit down and do this. A little while ago, I was taking our public train and as we pulled up to this one station there was some music, evidently being played around the station. It was really happy, colourful music, and when we finally stopped I saw that it was this busker with a mic and a guitar. He didn't look impoverished, his beard was trimmed and he had nice clean clothing on. He was middle-aged, with I think a Tilley hat on, and some glasses. He looked vaguely like Robin Williams but maybe a little bit chubbier, just as happy though. That was what struck me. This man was so happy, and his music was happy, he seemed to be having the most fun out of all of us just playing away and smiling, singing and smiling, tipping his hat and smiling, all sincere. I've seen him around downtown a few times, but that time really struck me, mainly out of contrast with my surroundings. It was far from my first sighting of him, but this time, crammed with all these solemn-looking people of all stripes, in the middle of all this concrete and prefab glamour, this seemed like one of the only real things downtown. The real emotion, the real happiness. It made me smile for the rest of my day, and I hadn't been having the best one. I'll try not to forget him, and if I see him downtown again I'd need to talk to him and tell him how much he's affected me. If you recognise him, by chance, then stop and take a listen, maybe give some change, he really deserves it. The boldness, the courage in being yourself in such a cold concrete world is priceless but it can't always pay the bills.
Forever,
N