It's really quite pathetic how rarely I blog anymore.. Now that I think of it, maybe it's a good thing. Life's busy for me now, I've had to put my big-girl pants on and deal with a lot of big-girl problems, no real time to blog about trite subjects. When I say big I don't mean fat, for those who still think of the two as being synonymous.
But anyways, back to you. Someone commented! Some anonymous person shook my proverbial shoulders and told me to update! If you were there, (non)existent readers, when I received the notification, my dancing was glorious. So I decided I should plunk my ass down for the specific purpose of writing a blog entry tonight, we'll see where this goes..
In relation to my previous entry, I can breathe normally again for the most part when thinking about this new situation. Well, more or less normally, anyway. I'm 90% sure I will get hurt again at some point -- but life's short. Youth is shorter. My big aha moment was to fuck all common sense and give into it. Evidently I am a masochist, although I'm quite sure this is nothing new for me to discover.
So I found out one of my shoulders is screwed up. Not fun. In any case the only real conclusion I can take of it is that I definitely am in need of someone else's strong shoulder since my own won't do anymore.
I'm thinking about not living with my mum full-time anymore, it is no exaggeration to state that we argue daily. She talked to her mum on the phone today and I saw clearly that I NEED TO GET OUT before I continue the fucked-up family trait onwards.
Anyways, what's new with you? I sincerely hope nothing like what has been going on with me, all I want is sleep and all I get is yelling.
Forever,
N
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I'm glad you received a notification as I was rather worried that my anonymous comment would silently slip past you stream of conscious and your blog would remain abandoned. That being said, don't feel obligated to write as writing should remain wholly your own, cathartic and enjoyable, not driven by the pressure of reader. But then on the other hand, I'm happy to see your words again!
Good luck with making the right decision. For years I've wanted to somehow shake myself of my mother, or rather the severely impacting emotional (sometimes physical) abuse she is prone to spit at me, a characteristic that overshadows the kind spirit I am certain is hidden somewhere underneath those stubborn, scaly layers. However, leaving home is more of a realised desire than an actual possibility, so I remain dreaming. In any case, I wish you much luck in attaining that happiness and peace of mind the whole world seems to be striving for.
Post a Comment